I haven't been journaling on here much recently....I've just been blogging on myspace...so that's where I've been...and probably where I will be...

Invisible Children on Oprah


I took my last final exam today, and I think it went well. Now I just have to finish my 15 page paper, and I'll be done!! :) And I'll be able to breath...that'll be nice...

I took a little paper break to watch Oprah this afternoon, and she did another segment on Africa. I love when she does that. It gets me so pumped up to go! The first segment today was actually on Uganda and the child soldiers there.

There's a movement in Uganda called the Lord's Resistance Army, and they have been fighting with the Ugandan Government for about 18 years. The LRA abducts children in the middle of the night and uses them as sex slaves and forces them to be soldiers for them. On the show they interviewed a couple of young boys that were probably 13 years old, and had killed people while they were being forced to be soldiers for the LRA.

There are a group of children in Uganda called Nightwalkers, and they walk miles every night to go to a shelter where they are protected from the Lord's Resistance Army. Each night they walk to this place, and every morning they walk back to their village.

They compared what is going on in Uganda to the Holocaust, and that really struck me since I've been working on my final paper for my Holocaust class. I'm actually writing about the people that rescued Jews during the Holocaust. On Oprah, they were talking about this being a Holocaust of sorts. People say that if they had known what was going on during the Holocaust, we could have made a difference...so I think everyone needs to know what is going on in Africa. Children there are raped, turned into sex slaves, and forced to be soldiers in this army. Many have killed by the time they are just teenagers...so I guess I just think that people need to be aware of it...because then we don't have an excuse for not doing anything. There's a "Holocaust" going on in Africa...what are you going to do to save the lives of these innocent children? At least check out the Invisible Children website and become aware of what is going on...pray about it...and try to make a difference...

The segment was really heartbreaking, but it got me kind of excited to go over there and actually be a part of making a difference.

http://www.invisiblechildren.com

I went to the site where I applied for this trip and got the information off of there to share...just so everyone has a little bit of an idea of what I'll be doing. It shows that people look at my blogs...I have no idea who it is...but thanks for reading..I hope they don't bore you too much...haha.

Anyways...back to the information about my trip...this is straight off the website:

"Experience African culture as you partner with an established campus ministry at Makerere University. You will grow in your walk with Christ through individual and team training as you make friends with students , share the gosel with them and help them grow in small group and one on one settings."

Location: Kampala, Uganda AF

Accomodations: We will stay in a local hotel upon arriving, and then board with local Navigator staff after the first week

Ministry Activities: The main focus of the trip will be evangelism and discipleship with students at Makerere University. We will also travel to two fairly remote villages to do humanitarian work and evangelism with AIDS orphanages.

Brief Itenerary: Upon arriving, we will transition to African life as a team staying in a local hotel. We will begin to build relationships with students involved in the Navigator ministry, and lost students on campus; where we will engage them with the gospel and investigateive Bible studies. We will also venture out of the Capital of Kampala to minster at an AIDS orphanage in the remote village of eastern Uganda. We will also see sites in the South Western Ape preserves and visit the headwaters of the Nile River in Southern Uganda.

Typical day:
-Mornings in the Word with devotions and Bible study
-Spend time praying together as a team before venturing to campus
-On campus we will seperate into teams to specific dorms to do ministry
-We will also participate in the weekly ministry activities of the local Navigator ministry.

They were only going to take 6-10 people for this trip, so the team that I will be working with will be rather small...

I'll post more when I find out more about it...probably after my orientation weekend March 3-5th.

Just to warn you...this blog is just going ot be a bunch of random things that I have going on in my life right now....nothing spectacular...that's for sure...

I called my dad yesterday...for no apparant reason. I didn't need anything....didn't have a particular purpose in calling him. I guess I just needed to hear his voice. Since he left, I've been pushing him away...but lately, I dunno...I just feel like I've come to this place in life where I need to push away the bitterness and unforgiveness that I have held towards him because it is only hurting me. I guess I'm just tired of being mad at him and finally coming to the point where I can admit that the reason I was mad was because I needed him...and I still do...who knows...maybe an actual relationship will come out of this...

I went to Acquire the Fire with my church this weekend. It was fun and it was good to reconnect with people I hadn't seen in awhile...but I kinda feel like I"m getting too old for it's message. Not that God didn't work in my life while I was there..but the message is definitely geared more towards high school students.

I called the Polk County Health department today to see what shots I have to get before I go to Uganda....I think I have to get 6 shots and take Malaria pills. That's not very exciting for me. Cuz I hate shots. And my appointment is scheduled for the day before my birthday...not my idea of a good present haha.

My week sucks this week. I have 4 papers, 3 quizzes, and a test to take.....so I should probably stop wasting my time on this blog and get back to work....break time is finished.

Later friends...


Also...in exciting news...I got my Damon Dotson cd in the mail today...woot!

This week is definitely one that has had me all over the emotional map. Thank goodness it is almost over...and tomorrow I get to go home and relax for the weekend. Won't that be great! Here's a little look at what's gone on this week for me....

Well, for this one I have to go back a little bit. Our school went on a retreat in November?? I think...called the Main Event..while we were there they talked about a lot of summer opportunities and there was one in particular that I felt God pulling on my heart about...So I prayed about it..and had friends pray asking God to open doors if that was His will. Time and time again I got these little hints or feelings that it was going to happen. Well, Monday night when I got home from work I checked my email and there wasn't really anything exciting there...so I looked in my junk mail..and there was a name that I recognized...so I looked and the title of the email was "Congratulations!" Sooo I got really excited and opened it....I got accepted for the trip!! So, at the end of May (like 3 days after I get out of school) I will be flying to Uganda (Yes that's in Africa) for a missions trip that will last 5 weeks! God is so amazing...and ever so faithful.

The rest of the week hasn't been so exciting...at least not THAT exciting. I talked to my mom on Tuesday and she said that she was suspended from her job and she would find out on Wednesday if she still had one. Yesterday she called and said that she got laid off. So that has really been weighing on my mind..I'm worried...but I guess that's what I do...Then yesterday and today I was sick. I think it was all the stress from finding out about my mom's job...and a little bit because I know that this weekend is going to be a hard one.

This weekend is the one year anniversary of my grandmothers death. I'm going home to be with my mom because I know that she will need me...and I will need her. My grandmother, my mom, and I were always really close....so it's hard. It doesn't seem like that long ago..but at the same time...it seems like forever...far too long anyways. So, I guess it'll be good to just go home and relax and catch up with friends that I haven't seen in awhile. Darn school and work for keeping me so busy. Although, as of late my job has hardly given me any hours...looks like I'll be looking for a new one since I'm going to Uganda...the trip won't pay for itself....

Well...it's homework time...again...Later

*Manda

Favorite -
1. gum: anything minty or cinnamon...I'm not a big fan of the new fruity kinds...gross
2. restaurant: La Cabana, Macaroni Grill
3. drink (non-alcoholic): coffee
4. season: Fall and Spring are definitly the greatest...probably Fall though..if I had to chose one...
5. type of weather: warm..with a bit of a breeze...

6. emotion: I like being happy...who doesn't..what a weird question

7. thing to do on a half day: what's a half day? ummm...read a book or take a nap...or both..as long as I can snuggle up with a blanket...

8. late-night activity: watching tv or being crazy with roommates! haha

10. city: Juarez

11. store: pretty much any bookstore haha

When was the last time you-

12. cried: umm...I'm not sure

13. played a sport: hmm...
14. laughed: last night...just been class today..not funny
15. hugged someone: last night

16. kissed someone: yesterday

17. felt depressed: I've been kinda down lately...I don't know if I would call it depressed...just stressed and overwhelmed...
18. felt overworked: Umm...STORY OF MY LIFE! School is crazy these days
19. felt sick: umm I was sick over Christmas break...

What was the last-

21. word you said: hello
22. thing you ate: Grilled chicken sandwich

23. song you listened to: Enya...Flora's Secret
24. last thing you drank: Pepsi
25. place you went to: The grill...to get lunch after class
26. movie you saw: Tristan and Isolde

27. movie you rented: Crash...but I should have just bought it..cuz it's amazing

who was the last person you-

28. hugged: Bridget
29. cried over: hmm...I don't think I'm gonna post that for everyone to read...

30. instant messaged: Katie

31. danced with: well...we dance here in our room a lot...
32. shared a secret with: Bridget
33. had a sleepover with: I don't even know...it's been a long time...

35. went to a movie with? Carrie

37. were angry with? not gonna say
38. cant take your eyes off: umm??
39. obsessed over: i don't get obsessed haha

Have you ever-

40. danced in the rain: heck yeah!

41. kissed someone: yup

42. done drugs? no sir!

43. drank alcohol: yes

44. partied 'til the sun came up: no way..but i have stayed up until the sun came up....

45. had a movie marathon: yeah....Girls night!! Woot!

46. gone too far on a dare: nope

47. spun until you were immensely dizzy:when I was little
My life-

48. school you to go: simpson

49. name: Amanda

50. gender: female

52. relationship status: who knows

What was 53??? I accidentally deleted it!! Shoot!

54. State or province u live in: iowa

Play-

55. i'm feeling: sleepy

56. i'm listening to: The Postal Service

57. i'm doing: filling out this survey...duh
58. i'm talking to: no one...everyone is gone...sad

59. i'm craving: coffee...turtle...oor Iced Caramel Macchiatto
60. i'm thinking of: everything I have to do today
61. i'm hating: being so overwhelmed and annoyed most of the time...and not understanding people

Love-

62. love is: everywhere

63. my first love: will be amazing..when I find him...

64. my love now: is non existant haha..

65. love or lust: love

66. best love song: Hmm..that's a tough one
67. Possible to be in love w/ more than one person at the same time: I would think no
68. when love hurts: i cry....

69. Are you in love: no...but i want to be

Opposite/same sex-

70. turn ons: humor, personality, smile, eyes

71. turn offs: controlling, mean, disrespectful
72. do your parent's opinion on your gf/bf matter to you?: yup

73. what kinda hairstyle are you into?: as long as it looks good on them i don't care...

74. what is the sweetest thing a girl/guy can do for you? anything thoughtful...or surprising..being surprised is fun...

75. where do you go to meet new people?: everywhere...

76. are you the type of person to HOLLA and ask for numbers?:nope

77. dog or cat: dog

78. short or long hair: my hair is getting kinda long...I should probably cut it...

79. sunshine or rain: sunshine!

80. hugs or kisses: Hugs...hugs are my favorite thing in the world
81. xbox or ps2: I don't really care
82. written letters or e-mails: written...getting real mail is the best!!

83. Cars or motorcycles: cars
84. coke or pepsi: pepsi
85. house party or club: either way

86. sing or dance: sing

87. freak or slow dance: slow dance!

Lately-

88. How are you today? doing alright so far...not too overwhelmed yet...
89. what pants are you wearing right now?: pj pants

90. what shirt are you wearing right now?: Kresge shirt from freshman year


91. what does your hair look like at the moment: it's pulled up
92. what song are you listening to right now? Satellite by Anna Nalick
93. how is the weather right now? a little chilly...but nice
94. who was last person you talked to on the phone? Bridget


X what you have:

[x] an ipod
[] a tiffany's bracelet.
[] a Louis vuttion purse or jacket.
[x] a computer.
[x] a cd player.
[x] a stereo.
[x] a spice girl cd.
[] a cosmo girl magazine.
[x] a teddy bear.
[] a build a bear.
[] an American eagle purse.
[] hollister jeans.
[] a hot topic shirt.
[x] a cell phone.
[] an aeropostale shirt.
[]a big screen TV.
[x] the mean girls dvd.
[x] a TV in my room.
[x] a big bed. (at home I do)
[x] a brother or sister.
[] a diamond ring.
[] a pearl necklace.
[] a coach purse
[x] a prom dress
[x] a book.
[x] a myspace.
[x] curious perfume.
[] g-unit sneakers.
[] coach shoes or jacket
[x]a black shirt



1.Which one of your friends would you most likely be arrested with? haha...any one of them haha...

2. What would you do with 1,000 plastic spoons? what an odd question..I have no idea
3. What kind of music did you listen to in elementary school? whatever my parents listened to...so probably country or oldies...

4. What is the best thing about your job? I get a discount...and I get a paycheck
5. Do you wish cell phone etiquette was required in class? yeah...it's so distracting to have a phone ring during a lecture....

8. Where are you going on your next vacation? Colorado..but I'm not sure if it's a vacation...it's for class...but it won't be Iowa...so I don't care
10. Are most of the friends in your life new or old? some of each

11. Do you own any furniture from Ikea? nope
13. If you could be an animal what would you be? I don't want to be an animal...I want to be me


14. What state/country are you from? Iowa...boo
15. Tell us about the last conversation/s you had: it was about a spanish assignment..how exciting

16. Where do you see yourself in one month? here..


17. What is your favorite smell? the smell of outside on a nice day...


18. What is your favorite sight? Mountains...or the sunset...
19. Do you consider yourself Bipolar? nope

20. Where was your first kiss: in an apartment haha

21. Have you ever done anything vindictive to your coworker? nope


22. Have you ever gone to therapy?
nope


23. Have you ever Played Spin the bottle? sure haven't...do people still do that?

24. Have you ever Toilet papered someone's house? yeah...and it was fun...I guess
25. Have you ever liked someone but never told them? ha...all the freakin' time

26. Have you ever gone camping? nope...I need to do that sometime...I hear it's a good time..

27. Have you ever had a crush on your brother's/sister's friend? definitly not
28. Have you ever been to a nude beach? nope...don't have any plan to


29. Have you ever had sex on the beach? nope
30. Have you ever had a stalker? ha yeah...it's not cool

31. Have you ever gone skinny dipping? nope

32. Have you ever laughed so hard you cried: ha yeah...all the time


33. Have you ever gone to a party where you were the only sober person? more times than I can count


34. Have you ever been cheated on? Not that I'm aware of...


35. Have you ever been betrayed by your best friend? yup

36. Have you ever lied to your parents? yes

37. Have you ever been outside the US? yeah! Love it!!


38. Have you ever thrown up from working out? nope


39. Have you ever gotten a haircut so bad that you wore a hat for a month straight? nope


40. Have you ever eaten 3 meals from 3 different fast food places in 1 day? On the way to Mexico...

41. Have you ever gotten so wasted you cant remember the nite before? no

42. Have you ever spied on someone you had a crush on? no..that would be weird


43. Have you ever slept with one of your coworkers? no

44. Have you seen your best friend naked? no! That's weird...

This song definitely sums up how I'm feeling right now...it's crazy how God speaks to me through lyrics. I've come to realize that I mess up a lot...I've told my roommate a couple of times this week that I suck as a person..but actually..I'm doing a good job of being a human..because I mess up...over and over again...just like everyone else...So I guess I'm just doing a good job of not being perfect. But I still don't like it....Anways...here's the song...

God give me strength to make it through
Situations that sometimes get out of hand
I’ll keep my eyes on You
My dreams may not come true
I may fall on my face
Still my hope is in You
All I need is the strength to make it through
God strengthen these hands that always hurt You
This mind that wanders and always gets out hand
I’ll keep my eyes on You
Like a breath in the fog my memories have disappeared

We've only been back at school for a week, but it seems like it has been ages. I'm pretty sure it was the craziest, longest week of my life...well maybe not..but it was close. It's so good to be back and see everyone, rather than staying here all alone. That got old pretty fast. Classes are going to be very crazy this semester. If I survive it will be a miracle. Already I've had so much reading and crap to do. But it has to be done I suppose.

So here's a little run down of my week:
*Sunday I got back to school and hung out most of the day...trying to clean up my area so that it was tolerable and trying to get stuff ready for classes to start. When everyone finally got back, we had some good roommate bonding time. Then it was off to visit a friend and then to bed as early as possible.
*Monday was the first day of classes and as usual it was REALLY boring. What else is new. Monday afternoon we were all bored because we didn't really have anything to do. That night was Revive, and it was so amazing to be back with everyone! I didn't realize how much I missed everyone until we got back together. It was good catching up with people...and EVD's message was amazing.
*Tuesday was the first day of Tuesday/Thursday classes and was also boring. That night a big group of us took Alisha out before she left for Nicaragua for the semester. That was fun, but I really just wanted to go to bed
*Wednesday was nothing eventful
*Thursday I started my day of classes at 8 and had classes up until 12:15. That isn't fun. Around 2 was Haven Club time, which I found out I will be leading on my own this semester. It was so great to be back with those kids. Quayvon and Mario taught me how to play 2 square. They say I'm actually pretty good...who would have known. Those kids made my whole week. I got back to the school..and then it was homework time before we left for Immersion. Then we got ready to leave and that was all confusion. I ended up riding with Marcin and Gabe..and lets just say that it's a miracle that I survived haha.
*Friday finally came and I had nothing...just classes....and then went to see Tristan and Isolde with friends.
*Saturday I worked all day, and that was really crappy. I was so busy and all I could think of all day was how much crap I needed to get done when I got home. I got home and relexed....watched the Broncos game...and was scared to death by a random drunk guy wandering into our room...and proceeding to kill our fouton.

So now it's a new week, and I hope it isn't as busy as the last one was...but I'm pretty sure that it will be. If this is what my whole semester looks like, it's going to be a crazy one. In other news, I am going to be going to Colorado for a week in May for my May Term class. We're going to be working with homeless people there in Denver....so I'm really looking forward to that. I am also awaiting news on my trip for the summer. I should find out if I'm accepted in 1-4 weeks. The anticipation is killing me. I hope I get accepted, but I'm not sure cuz they are only taking 6-10 people....so we'll see I guess.

Other than all of that, I have been extremely stressed and confused. I have so much school stuff going on, trying to make money in case I do get accepted for this trip, trying to figure out if I'm going to take summer classes, and trying to have a social life all at once. Crazy I tell you. Things are quite frustrating and confusing lately. I don't understand people sometimes...and because of it..I have this internal argument with myself everyday. It's one of those things that I know what I need to do..but I don't know how I'm going to...so I keep arguing with myself...it's a long story...Hopefully I'll be able to write more later...but I think this has gotten plenty long already...

*Manda

...I'm gonna...write in it...finally...

Christmas break has gone surprisingly well so far...well before tonight anyways. I've worked a lot, and was planning on staying at the school. As it turns out, it gets really lonely there with everyone gone. So I decided to just come home and drive to work from here when I have to be there. It's going pretty well. It's good to be home and see old friends and my family. I get to spend a lot of time with Adam...it's crazy that he's 8 months old. He's such a joy in my life and I thank God for him everyday. It's hard for me to even remember what my life was like before he was born. I never would have thought that being an aunt would have this much of an effect on me, but it really has.

I was talking to my mom the other day and we were talking about my grandmother that passed away in February. We mentioned how much we wish she could have met Adam because she would have loved him so much. I was actually walking through the mall the other night finishing up my Christmas shopping and there was a picture of a woman holding a baby. It looked so much like my grandma that when I saw it, it took my breath away...and it broke my heart at the same time. She would have loved Adam. But as I was telling my mom about this picture, she made a good point. She said that sometimes when we lose someone we are close to, God brings someone new into our lives. I think that's what he did when he brought Adam to us. It kind of side tracked us from all of the hurt, ya know. He's our little angel that's for sure.

I spent Christmas at my brothers and that went well. As well as can be expected I guess. Almost all of us were sick, and I could hardly talk. The day before I pretty much had no voice at all. Adam dressed up in a little Santa outfit that was so adorable. He even had a hat and little booties. It was so fun to watch everyone unwrap their presents, but it really got on my nerves when the kids didn't like their presents and whined about them. I couldn't help but think about all the kids that don't get Christmas. All of the kids that don't know what they are going to eat for dinner. The kids without a roof over their heads. The kids with no parents. I think we take the simple things for granted so often. The world has become to materialistic...and I'm really working on not being like that so much.

Tonight I was over at my brothers apartment spending time with Adam. It's great to be home and be able to see him and spend time with him and Ashley and everyone. Everything was going well, and then my brother had one of his episodes. I got really shook up about it because I haven't been around him when he's like that in quite awhile. Probably a couple of years. My body reacts to these outbursts in a weird way. I get so freaked out that I can feel my stomach shaking. Like everything inside of my body is shaking. It's so weird and I hate it. It's such an uneasy feeling. So Ashley handed Adam to me and told me to bring him to my house. I was so afraid that something worse was going to happen than what did. Honestly I thought that he would be going to jail again...but he didn't.

When I see stuff like this happen, I can't imagine what it would be like to live a life with all of the problems he has. And I don't understand it at all. I don't know why God gave him these problems that make him behave the way he does, but he did. It's something I struggle with. I don't know why God would want to make anyone struggle with so many psychological issues at once. I just wish that the doctors could figure out a way to make it different. I don't like to see him battling all of these diseases. It makes me thank God everyday that I don't have to deal with everything he does. All I could do when all of this was happening was hold Adam close to me and think that if he makes it through all that he has ahead of him, he will truly be a survivor. Sometimes I wish that I could just take him out of that situation. But then I realize that it's not in my control. Sometimes I wish it was. I would do anything to keep that little boy safe. He deserves the best. So I guess tonight I will go to bed with hopes of a better day tomorrow...and hope that I can sleep...

...as if you need 5 reasons to think I'm any weirder...but nonetheless, it is true...

What are 5 weird quirks about yourself:

1. I hate feet...I mean absolutely cannot stand them to the point that they make me sick. We played this "game" at a retreat I went to...where you had to give them one of your shoes when you walked in the door..and then they would pass them out..and you had to find the owner of the shoe...and then find your own shoe...it literally made me sick to my stomach...yeah..I know..it's weird

2. This one relates to the last....I don't like feet...but I LOVE to wear flip-flops...I mean I'll wear them in the winter..when there's snow..as long as I don't get frost bite...and I hate wearing regular shoes...and socks...but I love to buy socks....does that make sense?? Didn't think so...

3. I have a weird fascination with pens...I like to buy them...I probably have more pens that I will ever use in a lifetime...but they are so fun...I also find that I like to buy them when I'm in a bad mood..I don't get it

4. This is probably the weirdest...at least that's what people tell me...(the few people that know)...I don't eat meat off of the bone...why you may ask? Because I wouldn't want someone chewing on my bones. I guess it makes me feel like a savage person...

5. Lastly, I pretty much have OCD haha...that's self-diagnosed...But I'm VERY picky about how I have my things...and I know exactly where everything goes..if it's moved..I'll know...everything has to be where I put it..and I can't concentrate until it is..my movies are in alphabetical order...I can't stand when pictures, posters, or things hung on the wall are crooked...I just have to fix stuff like that when I see it...


....so there you go..I'm a freak...good to know isn't it..

...time after time...

Spoken was at Revive last night. Well it was the Unplugged version of Spoken, so it was only Matt and Aaron. It was amazing nonetheless. This was probably the fourth time that I've seen them, but the first time I'd seen them do just their acoustic set. It was really good..and really awesome that they came to Simpson. After Revive last night, I was up until 4 in the morning working on my poetry for my final. But at some point after the other girls had gone to bed, Ann and I just had a chance to talk and vent. It was good. So, I have rough copies of my poems, and I will revise them tonight so that I can hand them in tomorrow. They aren't the greatest. But she's really just grading us on the format..and I think I'm okay on that...but we will see.

So Spoken was exciting, and then today I got a job! I'm so excited. I had an interview at Sears...and I will start this weekend. It's exciting because I need money for the holidays and various other expenses...On a sad note...my roommate has mono...which sucks..I feel bad for her...but I need to go finish my stuff..cuz I have a ton to get done before tomorrow. I hope everything is well with you all!

*Manda

I always say that I'm going to post on here, and then it's a week before I get around to it. With finals comin'up, the amount of school work I have to do is becoming ridiculous. I really don't have time to do it right now either, but it's loud in my room and I won't get any studying done at the moment...so I might as well. Last weekend (before Thanksgiving break) I had a blast. It was by far the best weekend that I have spent on campus this year. Saturday night, was probably the highlight. I went out with Bridget and Joe..and needless to say we had a great time. We basically just headed out and walked around campus to visit a bunch of people. Well..first we went to Sigs..and that was amazing. It was only the second time that I've been and I had a blast. There were more people there that I knew this time so we danced and had a grand time. While we were at Sigs..there was a guy that was kind of watching us and it kinda seemed like he was following us...but I didn't think much of it because it was packed and I just figured that he was just moving around and talking to people. As we left, he followed..and I was kind of annoyed by it...This guy is in one of my classes..and it seems like I bump into him everywhere on campus..I don't like it. Honestly, he kinda freaks me out. So we had a drunken stalker...and finally figured out a way to lose him. Then we went to the Sports page with Justin to celebrate his 21st. It was a good time..and I was glad that we could all hang out. It was kind of fun being the only person that wasn't drinking. It didn't bother me in the least, and I felt like I could be myself and just have fun. I wish it could be like that more often. I really need to work on that...getting over the shy thing. So that was last weekend. Hopefully there will be many more times just like it to come.

On Monday, I found out that I have to write poetry for my lit final. I am not at all excited about that, because I don't think it's going to be very good. Not only that...I have no idea what to write about...that will be the worst part. So we'll see how that turns out. Thanksgiving break was alright. I went home...and I dunno what it is..but everytime I go home...I feel more out of place. I don't really know how to explain it. I'm just kind of over it...I dunno...my house itself is fine. I love seeing my mom and going to see my nephew and all that, but other than that...I just don't feel like the town has much to offer me. I dunno. It's odd. Maybe that's just part of growing up. Who knows.

Coming back to school was a blast. I was really excited to be here, and really glad that Ann was already here when I arrived. When we came back from fall break, I was here alone for about 5 hours...and I got so bored. We all brought back leftovers and had our own little Thanksgiving dinner while we watched Grey's Anatomy. It was so fun! A perfect way to come back from a break. Well, you are probably bored by just reading what I did in the last week...but it's my journal..and that's what I do...sometimes haha...so yeah..I'm gonna dive into my homework now...and hopefully I will have a chance to post something exciting later on this week.

Lots of Love to everyone!! :)

*Manda

So this weekend was stinkin' amazing...it was by far the best weekend I've had at Simpson thus far. I'm going to post more about it later...because I don't have time to now. But I was listening to my Jaci Velasquez cd today...and I wanted to post a couple of songs...because they really got to me...and reminded me just how amazing my God is. :)

Lost Without You

I know I can be a little stubborn sometimes
You might say a little righteous and too proud
I was looking for a way to compromise
Thinking maybe I could work things out

I thought I had all the answers
Never givin' in
But You loved me all along
And I admit that I was wrong

All I know is I'm lost without You
I'm not gonna lie
I could never be strong without You
I need You by my side

If I ever thought we'd never be together
'Cause of all my foolish pride
Don't know what I'd do
I'm lost without You

I keep tryin' to find my way
But all I know is I'm lost without You
I keep tryin' to face the day
But I'm lost without You

You're the only one who gets rid of these blues
When I fall, You'll catch me every time
The way You give me clarity when I'm confused
Just to hear Your voice can ease my mind

Oh, my world's so cold at night
When I wander far away
Only You can make it right
No, I'm not too proud to say

All I know is I'm lost without You
I'm not gonna lie (I will not lie)
I could never be strong without You
I need You by my side

If I ever thought we'd never be together
'Cause of all my foolish pride
Don't know what I'd do
I'm lost without You

I keep tryin' to find my way
But all I know is I'm lost without You
I keep tryin' to face the day
But I'm lost without You

I know that You can hear me now
You make the pain just go away
Stop all the tears from running down my face

All I know is I'm lost without You
I'm not gonna lie
I could never be strong without You
I need You by my side

If I ever thought we'd never be together
'Cause of all my foolish pride
Don't know what I'd do
I'm lost without You

I keep tryin' to find my way
But all I know is I'm lost without You
I keep tryin' to face the day
But I'm lost without You


Where I Belong

Sometimes I'm saddened by the choices I've made
So many tears I have cried
Got what I wanted but the dream seemed to fade
Still feeling unsatisfied

But You saved me
Forgave me
How You've shown
You'd never leave me all alone
Oh, Lord

Every time I lose my place
The beauty of Your grace
Shines a light so I can see
Every time I lose my way
You make it all O.K.
I feel You're love surrounding me
You are here calming my fears
You lead me back with Your sweet song
You're where I belong

You're always there to guide me through my mistakes
You've never once left my side
The way You pick me up each time my heart breaks
The way You always stood by

I'd feel You
You'd move right through my heart
We never really were apart
Oh, Lord

Every time I lose my place
The beauty of Your grace
Shines a light so I can see
Every time I lose my way
You make it all O.K.
I feel You're love surrounding me
You are here calming my fears
You lead me back with Your sweet song
You're where I belong

I will always put my faith in You
'Cause I know You understand
I will try my best to follow You
'Cause I know You've got a plan

Just to have You in my life
Is far more than enough
You are everywhere around me now
I can feel Your precious love

All the wonders of Your ways
I'm constantly amazed
How You make me safe and sound

It's the way You lift me up
You've given me so much
Only You would never let me down

You are here calming my fears
You lead me back with Your sweet song
You're where I belong


I hope this week isn't as busy for everyone as it is going to be for me. Happy Thanksgiving! :)

*Manda

This past week seemed so long and so filled with junk. I was so busy...it was ridiculous. I still have a lot to do this week, so this post isn't going to be much...I just hadn't written in awhile and wanted to do that before I went to bed for the evening. Hopefully this week won't be quite as hectic. My mom has the day off tomorrow, so she is bringing my nephew to visit. I can't wait...I love spending time with him...he will definitely brighten my week.

I was reading today in Searching for God Knows What by Donald Miller, and I came across this...

"If you ask me, the way to tell if a person knows God for real, I mean knows the real God, is that they will fear Him. They wouldn't go around making absurd political assertions and drop God's name like an ace card, and they woudln't be making absurd statements about how God wants you to be rich and how if you send in some money to the minisrty God will bless you. And for that matter, they wouldn't be standing on the beach shouting about how they are God, twirling around in the waves. It seems like, if you really knew the God who understands the physics of our existence, you would operate a little more cautiously, a little more compassionately, a little less like you are the center of the universe."

I guess this really hit me because sometimes I feel like a really selfish person. Like Thursday when I was at Haven Club and there were all these kids..and you could tell they just wanted to be loved..and I just feel like I have so much I take for granted. So this week..I'm going to try and be a little more compassionate...and selfless...

So here's to a good nights sleep and a hopeful look at a great week ahead...

*Manda

Fall break is over and I miss it. The vicious cycle has started over and my roommates and I are all super busy...maybe even busier than usual. It's hard to say. All I know is that I've hardly seen any of them at all today, and when I have we've all been working on the huge pile of homework that is overloading us. It makes me appreciate the times like last night, when we just sit here and have fun. We've all seemed to have an overwhelming amount of things to do this week, and I think it's probably only going to get worse. Who knows.

I'm beginning to think that the pile of papers I have to write is neverending. Honestly, it's getting really old. Today I was working on one of my papers for most of the day, and around 3 I just needed to take a break. I hadn't even had lunch yet so I went and grabbed something and just sat down at the restaraunt and looked over my bible study stuff. I was thinking a lot about what we talked about last night at Revive, and what Bridget and I talked about afterwards....God's really been grabbing ahold of me lately. It was great for me to just sit down and take a break from the craziness of school. It was great to be in the word and actually spending time with God, because honestly I haven't REALLY spent time with God and been flat out honest with him in awhile. The past couple of weeks I've been trying a lot more, the Main Event really helped me to realize that I needed to make a change. Since then, God's totally been blowing my mind with scriptures and stuff.

Getting off campus was something I really needed today, and as I was driving I was just thinking about how good it feels to be closer with God right now. I hate how spending time in prayer and in the word is the first thing to get pushed out of my schedule when I get busy. That's something that I'm really working on right now because I don't want to lost this closeness that I feel right now. It's so easy to get in the habit of not taking time out of my day and then wondering why God feels so far away...when I know that I'm the one that put the distance there.

After I ate, I came back to I-town and got coffee and made my way out to Lake Aquabi to watch the sunset. I haven't been there for a long time, and it was good to just get away from all the noise and just breath. I sat out by the lake for almost 2 hours just looking around and thinking about the things that are going on in my life. I had received a phone call from my dad when I pulled into Cup A Joe, and it just kinda threw the whole day off. It just wasn't what I needed to deal with today. While I was sitting there by the lake, looking at the scenary, my mind wandered back to everything that has happened.

I feel like I've just repressed all of the bad memories in my life and tried to pretend like they didn't exist...but I can't pretend anymore...I'm growing up and realizing how much of an impact these things have had in my life and how they have turned into insecurities on my part. I just can't pretend like it doesn't hurt anymore. So I was sitting there, freezing, with my feet in the sand and in the silence, I just cried out to God....but not in the way that I normally would. Last night we were talking about how we so often ask God to help us get out of our troubles, instead of helping us to have the strength to get through them. As I sat there I thought about that, and I just started crying...and I said, "God, I'm not asking you to get me out of all this...but I'm just going to sit here and cry...and all I want is to know that you are holding me." It was a good stress reliever for my day, but here I am back in my room and I have to get back to work...besides...this post has gotten ridiculously long...so I will go and get to work, I just had some things I had to get out before doing so...

On a happy note, the David Crowder/Shane & Shane concert is in two weeks...and I can't wait...

*Manda

I got back to school pretty early yesterday. I think there were only like 4 other cars in the parking lot, it made me laugh. I was here alone in my room for about 3 hours before Bridge got back. I was soooo excited to see her. I don't know how I'm going to handle being away from these girls for 3 weeks at Christmas! This break was long enough for me, honestly. Being at home makes it feel even less like home these days, maybe I'm finally growing up. Who knows. Anyways, I was glad to be back at school. Bridge and I had the room to ourselves until about 11 when Jenna came home, and we were so stinkin' crazy. I think it was just the fact that we were really tired and really excited to be back..but let me tell you, we were nuts! I think we scared Jenna when she got back. We had a good chance to just hang out and relax before we get back to the daily grind today. We watched Grey's Anatomy and snuggled on the fouton with popcorn...it was good last night...we cried. Then we were just being silly...added some new quotes for the quote wall and named our humidifier.

By the time we finally got to bed, neither one of us slept well, I think that it was R-2 D-Hu's fault though...he can be so loud haha..but what else can you expect from an old school humidifier that looks like a space ship...not too much I suppose. Today, was pretty uneventful, and most of the rest of it will be spent writing a paper that I have to hand in tomorrow. Needless to say, I didn't get much done on it over break. So I should get to that, so that I can get some sort of sleep tonight.

Here's to a safe and Happy Halloween...

*Manda

I'm back at school, and it's great...well not really cuz I have papers to write. I really don't have anything to say, except it's good to be back. Being at home is weird to me. I've gotten to that point where home just doesn't feel like home anymore. I can't really explain it. Anywho, I got a new phone this weekend..hoo-ray. Okay seriously I can't procrastinate anymore..So I'll leave you with a couple of Matchbook Romance songs that I totally love...yes..here you go...

"Promise"

What would you say if I asked you not to go
To forget everyone, forget everything and start over with me
Would you take my hand and never let me go
Promise me you'll never let me go

And now the stars aren't out tonight,
But neither are we to look up at them
Why does hello feel like goodbye?
These memories can't replace,
These wishes I wished and dreams I chased
Take this broken heart and make it right

I feel like I lost everything when you're gone
Left remembering what it's like to have you here with me
I thought you should know,
You're not making this easy

I never thought I'd be the one to say
Please don't, well please don't leave me

I feel like I lost everything when you're gone
Left remembering what it's like to have you here with me
I thought you should know,
You're not making this easy

You're not making this easy (easy, easy, easy...)

Take my hand and never let me go,
Take my hand and never let me go,
Promise me...
You'll never let go
You'll never let go
You'll never let go
You'll never let go
Make this last forever

I feel like I lost everything when you're gone
Left remembering what it's like to have you here with me
I thought you should know,
You're not making this easy

You're not making this easy
You're not making this easy
You're not making this easy
You're not making this easy

I'll fall asleep tonight, 'cause that brings me closer to you



"Tiger Lily"

We drive tonight,
and you are by my side.
We're talking about our lives,
like we've known each other forever.
The time flies by,
with the sound of your voice.
It's close to paradise,
with the end surely near.
And if I could only stop the car
and hold onto you,
and never let go (and never let go)
I'll never let go (I'll never let go)
as we round the corner
to your house
you turned to me and said,
"I'll be going through withdrawal of you
for this one night we have spent."
and, I want to speak these words
but I guess I'll just bite my tongue,
and accept "someday, somehow"
as the words that we'll hang from.

And I (I..), I don't want to speak these words.
'cause I ('cause I..), I don't want to make things any worse.
And I (I..), I don't want to speak these words.
'cause I, I don't want to make things any worse.

Why does tonight, have to end?
Why don't we hit restart,
and pause it at our favorite parts.
We'll skip the goodbyes.
If I had it my way,
I'd turn the car around and runaway,
just you and I.

And I(I..), I don't want to speak these words.
'cause I ('cause I..), I don't want to make things any worse. (any worse)
And I (I..), I don't want to speak these words
'cause I, I don't want to make things
And I, I don't want to make things any worse


My fortune today said, "Your sparkle never fades, the party begins when you arrive." ....If only it were true...*sigh*

That is probably the most random and pointless post ever...sorry for wasting your time.

*Manda

...Steve said that to me last night..and I'm not sure if he meant it...or if he was just being goofy...but it made my day..because it's funny. I talked a little bit last night at Revive about how the weekend at Main Event was. It was like 2 minutes of EVD asking my questions about the weekend, but it was a big deal for me because I don't talk in front of people. I can't stand being up in front of people, especially my peers. It makes me soooo nervous! It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be though, and that is good. So I'll tell you about this weekend.

Thursday night Bridget and Justin and I went to Immersion and that was amazing. It was a perfect setup for everything that we were going to have set before us over the weekend. We left on Friday afternoon and had a long car ride to Cedar Falls. I drove...and it was nerve-wracking because I was almost positive that I was going to get lost many times. But thank goodness we made it there safe! We ended up "sleeping" in a Fitness Center that they have there, and that was weird. I hardly got any sleep because we were laying on concrete and they didn't even turn the lights out. I can't sleep with lights on. So Saturday morning we were all super tired, but I was still excited about the day. We did a bunch of great things on Saturday. Workshops, dinner at our host homes and then that night Drew spoke again. That night was the night that brought everyone to their breaking point.

It was such an amazing feeling, because God was there and he was working in us, molding us and changing us all in that very moment. Bridget and I were sitting there, both of us sobbing. It's amazing how much your perspective of God can be changed in one weekend. I went in there with such a small perspective of God...and Drew told this story about this elephant that was coming at a vehicle they were in. He said it was so big, that when it got close to them, they could hardly see any of it. I think that's how it is with God sometimes too. When we get closer to him, we realize that he is so big that we can't even grasp his powers. We only see a small amount of his greatness. I could feel God breaking me out of my shell this weekend. I think I really started noticing it on Saturday night when we were at our host families house. I was just having so much fun and being myself around these people. It was really exciting to be around all these people that I hadn't hung out with a lot, and be having so much fun. I'm really glad that I could connect with the other people that went to the retreat. I feel like God is really helping me get over my anxiety of being around a lot of people. It's exciting for me.

While we were there, they talked a lot about missions. That was really exciting for me because missions is probably my favorite thing ever; it's what I feel called to. At one point they had people stand that had been on missions trips out of the country, so I stood, and later on in the day, I actually had a chance to talk to a couple of the people from Simpson about it. They were really interested and I was really excited to be able to share my passion with them. They talked a lot about Uganda. And I really want to go. It would be more amazing that I can even begin to describe. So let's hope. :)

The weekend was amazing, and the week was turning out well also, until I lost my cell phone last night. I don't know how..but somewhere between Cup A Joe and school I lost it. It's nowhere to be found. I was having such a bad day that I decided to head home tonight for fall break. I got to see my nephew. He's 6 months old now, and as soon as I saw him he was smiling and laughing. It's insane to me how you can feel so troubled or so stressed, and then this child can just make all those anxieties melt away. I'm excited to sleep in tomorrow. Even though most of my fall break will be spent writing papers.

Here's to a great fall break!

*Manda

I haven't had a chance to post anything worth reading since sometime last week...it's been a crazy busy week...and I've been sick..so that's no good. This week has been kind of crappy all around...until tonight. I went home on Saturday night because I was going to get my hair done on Sunday..that was fun...it seemed like everything that could have gone wrong while I was at home did go wrong...so I was stressed when I got ready to leave...So I got to take it out on the road...I love driving for the simple fact that it releives my stress...it's so peaceful for me.

I was so mad when I left because my mom had just told me about how my dad had called earlier in the week and was telling my brother about how he took his girlfriends kids to dinner and a movie. It made me so mad. The guy that I'm supposed to call "Dad" that has known me for 20 years and never had the time of day for me or my brother...He's known his girlfriends kids for less than 2 years..but he'll spend time with them. He'll take them out...but the whole time I was in highschool...he didn't come to one of my colorguard competitions or performances...he didn't come to a choir concert...nothing...and when he was at home he didn't have time for me...and there was no way he would spend money on me. So what's so great about her kids...why do they get this special treatment. What did I do that I don't deserve an actual father...someone that actually cares. It's ridiculous...he's ridiculous. My mom got really mad at him about it because it seemed like he was bragging about it when he talked to my brother...she said, "It's a good thing you have her kids, because you don't have your own." And it's so true...We may share the same DNA..but he was never a father to me...ever...and I think about the way he treated us and my mom...and I'm so greatful that he is gone...for my mom's sake. She deserves so much better than that. So I drove back to school on Sunday night thinking about how much of a jerk he is...and I was so glad that my roommates were home to cheer me up when I got home. I love them..so much..

Monday night I got home from Revive, and wasn't feeling well...We were all in bad moods, so we ran to Walmart for pie and ice cream. I had a little pie...but ice cream is gross...so none for me. We popped in Sweet Home Alabama and had a good time. I started feeling really crappy, so I went to be early. Probably the first time all year that I have been the first one in bed. Anyways, I was up at 4 in the morning sick...it was horrible...I was up until like 8 or something...and at one point I got really hot...and then a little later I was so cold I was shaking..needless to say...it wasn't the best couple of days...

I've been feeling better which is good...I met with a couple of girls because I'm going to start co-leading Haven Club :)..Yay...and then came back and Bridget and Justin and I went to Immersion tonight. It totally blew my mind..and got me so excited for this weekend. And we had so much fun hanging out with Justin...that boy is flippin' hilarious. It was grand. So Immersion was great...and now I'm so stinkin' pumped for the Main Event...It's gonna be amazing..you will hear all about it when I get back...I'm sure I'll have a ton to say. So tonight made this whole week turn out for the better. The only downer is that I'm missing all of the homecoming activities for the Main Event...but I guess there is always next year. I should get to work...I'm gonna be up all night..boo...

*Manda

1) Have you ever had a song written about you? Not that I know of..but if something did..that would be super cool ;)
2) What song(s) makes you cry? How do you get that lonely
3) What song(s) makes you happy? so many!! I love music...most of it makes me happy

Where did the numbers go?!?!
x. HEIGHT:5'6"...short
x. HAIR COLOR:brown
x. EYE COLOR:green/blue...depends on the day :)
x. PIERCINGS:4...all in my ears...more to be coming soon..I hope
x. TATTOOS: A star on my lower back and a rose on my foot
x. WHAT YOU WEARING? jeans and a Hard Rock Cafe tshirt (which I have never been to)
x. WHAT SONG ARE YOU LISTENING TO? no music...just One Tree Hill
x. WHAT TASTE IS IN YOUR MOUTH? Wintergreen Lifesaver
x. WHAT'S THE WEATHER LIKE?perfect...a beautiful fall night
x. HOW ARE YOU? kinda bored
x. GET MOTION SICKNESS? sometimes
x. HAVE A BAD HABIT? procrastination
x. GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS? I get along with my mom
x. LIKE TO DRIVE? LOVE IT!!!
x. BOYFRIEND? Do I have one? no...
x. GIRLFRIEND? Don't have one of those either...I don't like girls like that
x. CHILDREN? Someday hopefully
x. HAD A HARD TIME GETTING OVER SOMEONE? who hasn't...
x. BEEN HURT? Ha yeah
x. YOUR GREATEST REGRET? Not being the best person/friend that I can be
x. YOUR CD PLAYER HAS IN IT RIGHT NOW? No cd in my computer...I think Dashboard Confessional is what's in my car.
x. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? hmm...hot pink
x. WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY? God, fall, my nephew, friends, other children...so many things
x. WHAT'S THE NEXT CD YOU'RE GONNA GET? Hmm...I dunno..there are so many that I want...maybe Anna Nalick
x. 7 things in your room: Espresso machine, candle, roommate, pictures, quote wall, rope lights, ISU poster

x. Top seven things you say most: I have no idea...

Do you:

Smoke? nope
Do drugs? no
Read the newspaper? not really
Pray? Yes
Have a Job: not at the moment..but I'm lookin' for one
Attend Church: Yes

Have you ever:

Been in love? nope
Had a medical emergency? nope
Swam in the dark? heck yes!
Been to a Bonfire: Yes
Ran away from home? nope
Played strip poker? No.
Gotten beaten up? No
Beaten someone up? nope
Slept outdoors? Yeah...yay for trampoline sleepovers! :)
Been on radio/TV? Yes

Do you have any gay/lesbian friends? Yes
Have a Wallet: Yes
Coffee: Is this a question? I don't know what I'm supposed to write...but I do love coffee...if that's what this is asking

Cologne/Perfume: Umm..I have a lot..usually Lucky You

In the past 24 Hours have you....:
Cried: nope
Bought something: nope
Gotten sick: yes...grrr
Sang: Yes
Been kissed: no
Felt stupid: probably
Talked to an ex: No
Talked to someone you have a crush on: nope
Missed someone: my nephew
Hugged someone: nope...which is sad
Would you encourage people to respond to this? Uhh...sure?

At the beginning of the night, I thought it was going to be a total bust. Luckily, everything changed and I had sooo much fun. I got a total of 3 hours of sleep last night...so I wasn't exactly the happiest camper...then today I tried to take a nap..and that didn't work out for various reasons...sooo I was crabby...Tonight I had made plans to go to the play with a friend...and totally got stood up. So I sat here, thinking I was going to be here alone with nothing to do. When Ann got home from work, she asked me to go to a movie with her and Jana and Christian...to start out, I didn't think this movie was going to be that great...it's called In Her Shoes..and to me, the previews didn't look that great...So we got to the movie..and there were a total of 3 guys in the whole theater...needless to say it was a total chick flick...but it was sooooo good...definitely what I was in the mood for. By then end of the movie, everyone in our group was crying..except Christian of course...he laughed at all of us..but what else is new. So a night that I thought was going to be crappy, turned out to be one of the most fun things I've done while here on campus so far. The fact that the movie was amazing totally made up for the fact that I was pissed about being ditched...I don't even care that much anymore because I had so much fun...but I'm exhausted...and I really want to go to sleep...so I'm going to...I'll post more tommorrow...

So here's to hugs and cuddling and a friend to wipe away your tears...

*Manda

I actually went to bed two hours ago...but I couldn't get to sleep. I was lying there...with thoughts just running through my mind...I was wide awake. So I got up again and decided to do some reading..thinking that might make me tired...that didn't last long...so I spent who knows how long checking out everyones facebook profiles..then I hopped over to myspace for a little bit...and now I'm here..

I must say that Buxton is one crazy place to live. When I went to sleep there were 2 guys on different floors yelling through their open windows having some ridiculously stupid conversation in voices as if they were old black women. It was funny. After I got back up, there was another bit of noise. Ann and I figured out that it was the guys across the way from us. Both of our windows were open and we could clearly hear everything that they were saying. Apparantly one of the guys was pissed at the other one...and they were fighting...and there's something about people raising their voices that makes me uneasy. Not necessarily being loud...I don't mind that...but when people (guys especially) get mad and start yelling..it makes my stomach tighten and I get really nervous...Sometimes I start to shake...I didn't tonight...but I was really nervous...I hate when that happens...it sucks..there are probably various reasons that this happens..but I don't really know what to do to prevent it...I'm glad I didn't start shaking..I think Ann would have thought I was crazy...Eeek! Anywho...I sit here..unable to sleep...and I'm thoroughly dreading my 8 o'clock class...I'm not going to be very happy to be awake, that's for sure. Insomnia is not my friend tonight..or this morning...or whatever you would like to call it. I just really want to go to sleep, but I know if I go in and lie down my mind will just wander. Perhaps I will try reading again...I don't want to bore you anymore than I already have...

PS...random thought of the day...I miss home...well I miss hugs...I get lots of hugs at home...not here...I guess I don't know enough people well enough...hmm...oh well...

*Manda

Today was a wonderful day. This morning I took my last midterm for the week, which meant I had tonight to do absolutely nothing. Tonight was actually my first night off this week...and it was great. To start it off, Krista and I had a dinner date at Bennigans...that was fun...that's where we always go for our dinner dates...and we hardly have time to hang out when were are here on campus...so it was fun. After that we pulled into I-town and decided to go for a good old cup of coffee at Cup A Joe...Jordan was working...so we chilled there with him for awhile...and by awhile I mean 2 hours haha...there was hardly anyone in there tonight...so we watched the Cardinals vs Astros game...and Krista and I put together a puzzle....My Little Pony to be specific...all in all it was a good time...even though it wasn't too eventful..but sometimes that's better. Oh...and I had a turtle...which was absolutely amazing...

Around 9 I took Krista to the library and came back to good old Buxton...for awhile it was just me and a roommate..then the other roommates came home and we had a couple of visitors...it was fun...but just sitting here, with nothing to do...made me realize how lonely I feel. It's almost like I prefer the business of my days because then I can just shut out the fact that I'm alone. I like it sometimes..but it's starting to get old...So that was a complete downer on my night...

Tommorrow is Friday, and I can't wait. I have no idea what I'm going to do this weekend...I'll probably just lay low for lack of anything else to do...who knows...I thought about going to the play..but we shall see...I don't know if I could sit still for that long. hmm...I'm getting tired...and 7 o'clock comes way too early...so I think I will go to bed...but first I'll leave you with a song that I downloaded today...that reminds me of my friend Tony...

Home in me
By MiG Ayesa

I had a dream about you late last night
And I woke up crying
In every way you're somehow in my mind
And I can see you smiling
Though I know you won't be coming home
Still I wait for you
To live each day, as though it was the last
I know you want this of me
This emptiness from losing you is gonna pass
I know you're here to guide me
And it's been so long since you've been gone
It's time I must move on
Even though I know you're gone I need to carry on
And know you're doing fine
You were a gift to me,
Somehow I must believe
That you will always be home in me
You will always be home in me

This guy actually wrote this song about a friend that he had lost...so it really makes me think of Tony...and how much I miss him...each day spent on this earth is a little more dim without his smile to light up my day...

*Manda

This week has been absolutely insane...to say the least. I have three mid-terms..the first of which I took today. Needless to say, I've been a little busy this week. It's stressful..and I can't wait until I can just sit back and take a deep breath. Livejournal is my escape tonight...even if it's only for a little while.

Due to my busyness I missed Campus Worship again tonight...which sadly, isn't really that big of a deal to me...when I usually go, it's just to see people. Now Revive on the other hand...I couldn't miss that. God reaches me in ways I've never imagined each week that I am there...especially during the worship..amazing. So tonight I was sitting here in my room studying part of the time and just hanging out with one of my roommates for awhile. We had so much fun just being stupid...we were both in really crazy/hyper moods tonight for no apparant reason. Probably because I've been so busy I've hardly had a chance to relax and have fun. Can't wait til this week is over. Anyways, B and I had a blast...watched One Tree Hill...talked and really bonded...it was wonderful...then the other roommates came home...and it turns out that they were either in the same kind of mood that we were...or we rubbed off on them...Needless to say...we spent an hour of straight laughter and acquired many funny quotes for the quote wall....good times had by all..it was so great just to have that time to not be doing homework. But soon...I will be back to the fate that awaits me....Western Civ..boo..

After tomorrow..I can breath..and it will be wonderful..I'm doing a lot of me stuff for the rest of this week...Tomorrow, going to dinner with Krista & then to Immersion with a bunch of people..I love that...Immersion...wonderful... Friday is the play...and then who knows...maybe I'll just be anti-social and watch movies for the weekend haha. Sunday I'm going home to get my hair done...so I'm super excited...I'm leavin' early in the mornin so I can go to church at home and see everyone...then my hair appointment...and then back here...woot...Well...this is becoming pointless, and I can't seem to find anything else to talk about that will keep me from studying...sooo I shall leave...and work on s'more studying...awesome...

Sweet dreams & butterfly kisses to all!

*Manda